Thursday, July 17, 2014

Question Everything

For the first time in a long time, I am ...conflicted.

Even I have bad days sometimes. This is one of them.
I have a hundred emotions running through me adding no small amount of stress to the headache that I can feel behind my eyes.

Earlier this week I felt the need to report a coworker for harassment.
The situation has been handled, thankfully with no retaliation (yet) and very little drama.

I know that I am not responsible for his actions.
I know that I  had every right to do what I did.

I'm upset that my work place no longer feels safe. It's awkward now, and uncomfortable.
I've rocked the boat, and now everyone knows that I will do so. I hate being backed into a corner, or feeling like I have no other choice. I am a fighter, and a vicious one, but I hate having to fight.

"well you are a pretty girl!" IS NOT AN EXCUSE FOR HIS ACTION.

No one should ever make me feel uncomfortable EVER. There are polite ways to hold conversations with people that don't cross boundaries or make them feel the need to go talk to a supervisor afterwards.
So since people find me to be attractive (for whatever reason), I should just EXPECT it?


and that mindset makes me angry. You wouldn't believe how angry.

I'm so tired of societal mindset of "a woman's place". Of  how I should act, of how I should dress, of being expected to fawn over every bit of attention I receive - good or bad. Of being made to feel like a troublemaker and an attention whore because I stood up for myself and did what was RIGHT.

Angry - and honestly, angry at myself. Though I couldn't tell you why if you asked.

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